Do You Keep Falling For The Same Type Of Partner?

It is a somewhat surprising phenomenon that even after bad and often painful relationships, people are still drawn towards the same type of partners. They seem drawn like magnets to certain personalities and traits in a person. Consequently they set themselves up, seemingly unknowingly, for the same problems and heartbreak. Why is this so? Let us look at a few possible reasons and how to break this cycle of
self-infliction.

Why are we drawn to the same stereotypes? Something deep within a person draws them to a certain type of person. It can be due to a number of reasons:

Divorce: divorce within the family can lead to all sorts of deep seated emotional problems in children and ultimately influences the relationships they form later in life. Sometimes there is a lot of guilt built upin a person from early childhood due to a divorce and they somehow feel they are to blame. Although this is far from the truth a young child or even a teenager can feel this way. They have a secret fantasy that if they had done something they could magically bring back their Mother of Father.

When they eventually form relationships they may subconsciously choose people who are like one of their parents to try to realize this dream. They can then fall into the same problems as their parents had and start a cycle of broken relationships. They may not even realize why they are choosing these same type of people each time.

If they themselves are divorced they may still be choosing the same type of people and again triggering the cycle of failed relationships or even go through more divorces. This will go on until they realize their mistake and change their choices. This is very hard to do as we are often not even aware of why we keep choosing the same type of people over and over again.

Sometimes a person is actually seeking a Mother or Father image. Their ties might have been very close with either parent and they will unconsciously try to find a partner like that parental figure. Another reason for this choice is a dominant parent of authoritarian figure in their childhood, which is compelling them to choose the same type of person.

Another factor is the spirit of rebellion. This can stimulate a person to try to choose an opposite character to the authoritarian figure or even purposely choose one that they know would never be approved of by their Father or Mother.

As a teenager you may have a spirit of defiance, as becomes this age in your development. You may just go out with a certain personality type because you know your parents will disapprove. However as you get older you do not really need this attitude and should seriously consider breaking out of it and finding the partner you really want.

Still others have fantasy images of their perfect partner and this longing compels them to choose certain types of people to form relationships with. Because they are just a dream person they can be disappointed when the partner does not reach their expectations. This leads to many failed relationships.